Week 1 NFL Picks: Week Won Wildness

Damn – every year we almost forget just how much we LOVE Football.

Anyone missing Peyton? This is the first time in a donkey’s age that we haven’t had either the Sheriff or Tommy Terrific for Kick Off week–end. No matter, just throw out a second year 7th Round after-thought against the League MVP, mix in some Altitude and stir. Magic!

NFL Neuro-Specialists aside – how great was that drama last night?

Porkchop, and I are LOVING the potential knee jerk Cinderella Mount Siemian story-lines but the best one is this:

Kubiak literally throwing caution to the wind and having Siemian “the Kid” throw on 7 of the first 10 plays! Headline:

HEAD COACH SHOWS ULTIMATE CONFIDENCE IN “NEW KID!”

In the copy cat league that is the NFL, what could possibly go wrong with Over-Reaction Sunday?

Our top 6 HC Visionaries and the percentage chance it impacts their early game plans this week-end:

1.  Bill O’Brien – 100% – Will have Osweiler throw 8 straight times even after back-to-back picks and then send JJ Watt for a few flea flickers to prove his back is now cybernetic.

2.   Hue Jackson with RG3 – 1000% – will argue post game that the 5th sack in the third series was a net positive from an analytics perspective.

3.   Doug Pedersen – 75% – Carson Wentz is a red-head; had broken ribs 3 weeks ago; was supposed to red-shirt; is essentially from ‘Fargo’ and played in Division III last September – what could possibly go wrong?

4. Jason Garrett – 50% – With the Dak Attack this is more dependant on word coming down from on high – he’ll have to wait on Jerry getting back from circumcising mosquitoes.

5. Mike Mularkey – 33% – Tough to rattle the architect of ‘Exotic Smash-mouth’ but this is the guy that had the punter fake an injury to gauge his team’s mental fortitude. Yeah, no discernible reaction – shocking.

6. Jeff Fisher with Case Keenum – 1% chance – Mr. 7 – 9 already put in a full month’s work setting Jared Goff on the Ryan Leaf sunset path. Time to take a well earned week off on offense.
The NFL is BACK!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>