@sonobum Inspired and Officially Approved
Why 36?… Because we’re doubling down on 18!
#1. Panthers haven’t faced a top pass rush nearly all year. Seattle? – 15th / Arizona? – 27th / Giants? 30th / Atlanta x2 – 32nd / Indy? – 28th / NO x2 – 20th / Dallas? 16th / GB? – 14th.
#2. If Cam runs… well, he’ll have some success but he’ll also get the Andrew Luck treatment – e.g. possible lacerated kidney / ‘floating’ rib cartilage.
#3. Clete Blakeman – the Ref who couldn’t properly flip a coin in Arizona – has been tabbed as the Head Ref for the Super Bowl. Denver 5-0 in ‘Cletus’ games. Carolina 2-2. (Ummm… How far back did they have to go to find 2 Panthers losses?)
#4. We have the future President’s ENDORSEMENT!
#5. We have Son of Bum.
#6. If you don’t think that’s important – check his twitter feed (work your way past the Gatlin Bros. re-tweet.)
#7. Over 80% of the money in Vegas is on Carolina. Who do you think placed a back channel call to the League Office to install Cletus as the Head Ref in this game?
#8 NOBODY BELIEVES IN US!
#9. Except Cris Collinsworth … Broke down Championship game tape all week. Went in thinking full court press review would validate picking Carolina by a ton. Came away picking Denver instead…
#10. CJ Anderson grew up in Bay Area and was passed Championship torch by Tom Brady after AFC title game – per Peter King ( my interpretation – but it was all there between the lines
#11. … we’ve all forgotten Cam’s “Global Icon” comment from pre-draft – it’s guaranteed that he and his Jay Z team have not. Creates the very real possibility of pressing / forcing to below average weapons. When the pressure really ratcheted up for the ‘perfect season’ – Atlanta happened. That team exists somewhere inside this Panthers juggernaut.
#12. Who is actually criticizing Cam Newton? No one. If you listen to idiots on Twitter and take their input as meaningful – you are actually the idiot. ( #distraction )
#13. God is on our side. And so is Tim Tebow!
#14. Denver’s Defense was already wrecking people earlier in the week and it was only Monday!
#16. Which team is more likely to have players get busted with hookers / get lost on a Tijuana side trip the night before? The Loose Team or the Scarred Veteran Team?
#17. Wait – we’re calling an Audible! Broncos obligatory prostitution sting, over and done by mid-week!
#18. Who Doesn’t want to see No. 18 go out on top? … Queue the Lion King sound track… roll with Circle of Life… and Denver sends a second living Legend out on top!
#21. Thomas Davis is one of Carolina’s three best defenders. Thomas Davis has a broken arm. Tanier said it best… “You can’t play Linebacker with a broken arm.”
#22. Cam voted most likely to be busted with under-cover hookers promising lucrative endorsement deal with GEICO (to rival NationWide / Discount Double Check) in the wee hours of Friday into Saturday morning.
No benevolent God would place Manning in a position where he felt he had to go and toil under Jeff Fisher to redeem himself. The moustache might make him run back kick-offs. Denver wins – Peyton retires in dignity – this byline becomes the tag line for the next SAW movie.
#24. Manning goes full Jim Bob – nuff said!
#25. Kubiak the most anonymous coach in Super Bowl history. Any chance that Elway knew what he was doing considering his track record as a GM so far?
#26. This Denver Team DESTROYED Green Bay when it was just about putting Owner Pat Bowlen in the Ring of Honor. Now it’s about making him immortal.
#27. Teams that went 15 – 1 in during the Regular Season are only 2 – 5 in Super Bowl outings.
#28. Teams that won by 30+ points in their respective Championship Play-Off Games are only 2 – 6 in the Super Bowl.
#29. Teams carrying the No.1 ranked Defense into the Super Bowl are 9 – 2 all time in those games… #sonofbum.
#31. There’s a 33% chance that Wade Phillips is the reincarnation of ‘Rain Man’.
and that Bradley Roby is Tom Cruise.
#32. If mankind has learned nothing else … we know that history repeats itself…
Pretty sure Elway is 90% bionic at this point. Has hit 3 of 4 with hip and knee replacements … how did his career end again?
#33. Carson Palmer was a nuclear level dumpster fire in the NFC Title Tilt … Manning hasn’t thrown a pick since he came back from injury.
#34. Both End Zones were painted with the Broncos logo – I mean c’mon people – you want signs?!?
#35. Cortland Finnegan and Robert McClain are the starting corners behind Josh Norman in nickel and dime packages. Finnegan in McClain were street free agents in November. Roman Harper is a starting safety for this team and looks older then Ron Rivera.
#36. Peyton Manning has had some of the worst play-off luck in the history of the NFL. Peyton Manning is due for some lucky bounces on his last rodeo into the sunset.